Here is a list of links to images. Can you figure out which story I'm trying to tell through these images?
We're going to pretend like these links don't have the name of the story in them...
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0giEDfpdZyHmVyUYRow1DVoTtk_BjgeEpiySwgAWhCALec0pJFyOJIj7vAY0GCx4wUk-CszXEgO1w9sEgu0dWiYmB4oZSGLPJteKflKEPEopHVbv3lX5Q42eS2VbEq4NjDtfCTqgjfjNG/s320/three+bears+paint.JPG
http://www.public.asu.edu/~atbrl/goldibowls.gif
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirljbM1UqT2NTmR1nZfs7xwNviBmNxLv6LHsbCYx0VCKtamLxmP6zerz9N9LHYz4MYiKufzApYNAE23OaZREBuN-MmB-gYJDBj8Lck53ioFGV7lix1jmxPQY1ApET4DIFNS5r71i0ApYc/s400/goldilocks+and+chair.jpg
http://www.trovarsinrete.org/1circolo/english%20corner/goldilocks/e-bk-easy-readers-04goldilocks-pic5-anim.gif
http://www.surlalunefairytales.com/illustrations/goldilocks/images/price_goldy3.jpg
http://students.ou.edu/J/Curtis.N.Johnston-1/gold.jpg
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
becca's worst dating experience
here's becca's worst dating experience
or
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aW0m5OYxfzI
or
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aW0m5OYxfzI
worst dating experience
my worst date
Now, let me tell you, I've had a lot of bad dates. So for the sake of time, I'm going to wrap them all up into one big date. So, here, for your pleasure, is the worst "date" I've ever gone on:
I met this guy at a foot fetish party even though he told me my feet reminded him of his mother. We went to an Egyptian restaurant where he ordered the Viagra Stuffed Pigeon because, apparently, that is a delicacy in Cairo. He cryptically told me his business was "competitive elf breeding" and REFUSED to elaborate. Let me just say, there are MANY follow-up questions this inspires, such as:
-Who is he breeding the elves for?
-What are they competing in?
-What qualities does one look for in a competitively-bred elf?
-Are elves real?
THEN, he told me I had nice lips, and in an effort to freak him out, I told him that I grew them myself. When that didn't deter him (Is anyone surprised it didn't?) I told him how I'm often mistaken for a man by the homeless. That's why I stopped giving them money. Perhaps that, I thought, would turn him off, you know, the fact that I'm miserly AND masculine when it comes to the needy. Nope. Didn't work. He dropped me off at my place (his car smelled like weed, CHEAP weed) and then he left me harassing voice mails when I didn't call him back. Turns out, he had several pending lawsuits and one restraining order. Thanks, google! I know you have a feature to stop me from sending drunk emails, but perhaps you could have a feature to scan and then block all potential suitors.
or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTTOALw45XY
Now, let me tell you, I've had a lot of bad dates. So for the sake of time, I'm going to wrap them all up into one big date. So, here, for your pleasure, is the worst "date" I've ever gone on:
I met this guy at a foot fetish party even though he told me my feet reminded him of his mother. We went to an Egyptian restaurant where he ordered the Viagra Stuffed Pigeon because, apparently, that is a delicacy in Cairo. He cryptically told me his business was "competitive elf breeding" and REFUSED to elaborate. Let me just say, there are MANY follow-up questions this inspires, such as:
-Who is he breeding the elves for?
-What are they competing in?
-What qualities does one look for in a competitively-bred elf?
-Are elves real?
THEN, he told me I had nice lips, and in an effort to freak him out, I told him that I grew them myself. When that didn't deter him (Is anyone surprised it didn't?) I told him how I'm often mistaken for a man by the homeless. That's why I stopped giving them money. Perhaps that, I thought, would turn him off, you know, the fact that I'm miserly AND masculine when it comes to the needy. Nope. Didn't work. He dropped me off at my place (his car smelled like weed, CHEAP weed) and then he left me harassing voice mails when I didn't call him back. Turns out, he had several pending lawsuits and one restraining order. Thanks, google! I know you have a feature to stop me from sending drunk emails, but perhaps you could have a feature to scan and then block all potential suitors.
or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTTOALw45XY
Monday, November 2, 2009
Something I have to do for class
this is a post I have to do for class, which is why I started this blog to begin with. Here is an exerpt of some audio I recorded on a farm for a story I did a while back.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Squiggles McBoobFace on Pooping at His Place
"Many women believe that men are uncomfortable with proximal defecation because there are some activities which, once they cross a (male) mind, immediately de-sexualize the person in question. Nothing could be further from the truth -- if this were the case, most modern men would be rendered permanently asexual upon first viewing Japanese pornography. In fact, the issue is territorial; if some woman can shit in your toilet, pretty soon she'll be hunting on your land, or worse, borrowing your sweatshirts."
WHY CAN'T I POOP AT HIS PLACE?
I don't get why love means leaving my boyfriend's friends' friends' girlfriends' mom's apartment(where he lives), stepping over the hobos sleeping next to the elevator, reaching through the smashed part of glass to unlock the bolt and running to the nearest Chicken King to poop! He poops, but apparently WOMEN are supposed to take in food and squeeze out miley cyrus. To figure this out, I brought in resident professional male Squiggles McBoobFace to explain.
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